• 100% HUMAN CANDIDATE

    "I have been incubated from birth to be your overlord"

  • AMERICAN PROSPERITY

    Hello I am Tedcruz Forpresident.

     

    I have over 42 years!

     

    I wish to shut down the space program and destroy all telescopes, abruptly and without explanation

  • OBSERVING YOU

    I once observed a child traversing on wheeled shoes. I will work tirelessly to find out what this technology is called and demand the earth children turn its schematics over to me, forthwith

  • UPDATE

    I must return to my home town of T'EXAS to slumber for an amount of time you would consider reasonable

     

    Thank you, your support and skull sizes have been documented

  • HERE IS WHAT THE PEOPLE ARE SAYING

    Ted Cruz is only one being and not several.

    - Guy Manderson

    I have seen many people and Ted Cruz is one of them

    - Firstname Lastname